Tomorrow is Australian public holiday, Australian Day. However, i am not here trying to introduce this eve, but something important i just realized tonight right before it.
First of all, i have been playing a lot these days. To be honest, i killed much time on meaningless playing, which should be spent on preparing PR application. i knew that i didnt have too much time left, whereas i still kept not thinking about it. Tonight, i really hope it would be a turning point to me. i should have finished those stuff by the end of last week, but now only 1/3 done. Time flies, i am fleeing, but i don’t wanna be like this any more. i need a way back to being me again.
i am lost, or i lost myself. Many thoughts or ideas appeared in my mind, which i must think them weird or unacceptable in the past. It looks very easy to explain, i am one year older and no one could keep mind consistent without changes. Well, the problem here is that it changes too fast like a kind of mutation, i coulcn’t understand my mind or even try to control it. i called myself lost from an exact sense of losing. In the morning, i found different person in the mirror. Each day, i could not find any consistency between myself in the past and at present, except the name.
Last, i feel pain, but i have been used to it. i know what i am after, however the tough path makes me hold back. Being as a craven, golden time elapses upfront my helpless struggle, only leaves me living in my illusory bubbles.
Finale, everything is gonna be alright, dont worry about me, i feel better than ever.
